Random thoughts on a Poem

Yesterday evening a gloomy feeling crept in to my mind . There was no reason that i could think of for the sudden mood change. It happens, sometimes with me, without a notice. It's like the sudden grey clouds appearing in the blue and bright sky.

The reasons may have been seeded in the subconscious mind in some forgotten past. It's futile to search for the cause in the present. Anyway, I had no option but to deal with it. Normally, I would try to sleep it off or go on a long drive on my Motorbike or if the opportunity presented, would down a couple of drinks and sing away the depression in sentimental foolery.

But, yesterday there was no chance of doing any of those escapist formulas. So, forced myself to open the long neglected ' Palgrave's Golden treasury' and randomly opened the pages  to find the  poem " Meeting at Midnight" by Robert Browning.

It took me some five readings of the small poem to make any sense and then read some more times and gradually the poem, its language and imagery engulfed my senses. After a while I realized  the melancholic mood has slipped away. The rhythm and cadence of the words, probably, soothed the mind. The effect was better than any of the above methods I used to adopt while in a bad mood. To keep the feeling going, i decided to memorize it and by the time I was going to bed, the poem was on my lips and the first thing I uttered when I woke up was " The grey sea and the long black land............".

Meeting at Night

The grey sea and the long black land;
And the yellow half-moon large and low;
And the startled little wave that leap
In fiery ringlets from their sleep,
As I gain the cove with pushing prow,
And quench its speed i' the slushy sand.


Then a mile of warm sea-scented beach;
Three fields to cross till a farm appears;
A tap at the pane, the quick sharp scratch
And blue spurt of a lighted match,
And a voice less loud, thro' its joys and fears,
Than the two hearts beating each to each!

By Robert Browning


My favorite from the poem are the line 9 & 10. The three images: A tap at the pane; quick sharp scratch and the spurt of a lighted match. I could almost hear the scratch of a match stick on the sulfurous strip of the box and the resultant flickering flame.

Resolution

For a period of about three years from 1998-2001, I was in a small town of West Bengal - about two and half hours train journey away from Calcutta.  During some weekends I used to escape  to Calcutta to watch the Hoogly flowing under the Howrah Bridge, to feel the vibrations of the bridge under my feet during peak traffic, to roam around the new market to watch the beautiful Bengali women or to watch Calcutta from the Esplanade in the evenings.

While waiting for the suburban train on the Railway platform of Calcutta, to return to my small town abode in the late evenings, it was my habit to look at the various book stores and magazine stalls. Among these stores, in a corner was placed - I hope it still is -  the Ramakrishna Mission Book Store. On some days I used to buy a hardbound copy of any one volume of the nine volumes of  of 'The complete works of Swami Vivekananda'. In installments I collected all the Nine volumes. When I shifted from Bengal to another town in Central India, these volumes were a substantial part of my luggage, considering that I was not married then and all my possessions used to fit in to a medium sized suitcase and a bag.

I had planned to read all the volumes and write in a notebook, about my understanding of Vivekananda. But like most plans and resolutions, this also never came to the execution stage. And in course of these fifteen years or so I have managed to read the books in bits and pieces; the books largely becoming decorative pieces in the drawing room rack.

In these fifteen years, I managed to lose the Volume-I of the set. A friend in the central India town,  borrowed it and never cared to return it. Since then, a sense of incompleteness stared at me from the racks. Finally, to fill the void in the beginning of the stack arranged serially from Vol.I to Vol.IX, I ordered for the book through Flipkart. The book was delivered to me today. The set is now complete. Now, the rack will look nice.

Once again I have planned to read the books one by one and write, whatever little understanding i will have, at this place. Let's see, if this time around I would discipline myself and keep to a task.

Photo Courtsey: Chennaimath.org

Life Is What You Make It

Some months ago I had read about this book - Life is what you make it by Preeti Shenoy-  on a blog, by  a very fine blogger in Hindi - Sri Gyandutt Pandey. He had said some good things about it. So relying on his word I had filed the thought in my mind to read the book someday. After some time, forgot about the book and the subject and the good things that Pandey Ji had said about it.

Recently, while I was buying a sipper for my kid from Flipkart and to stretch the bill to three hundred rupees to avoid giving the shipping charges of thirty rupees, I was looking for something cheap, priced around fifty odd rupees, when I found this book costing only fifty eight rupees. Isn't it a good deal to give  twenty eight rupees extra for a book, then giving shipping charges of thirty rupees to Flipkart? Those were the thoughts and of course there was the thought in the back of my mind that Pandey Sir had told some good things about it, while ordering the book.

Anyway,the book came and after lying untouched for some days, it was read during a short train journey.

Till half of the pages of about 210 pages of the book, I was skipping paragraphs and trying to locate the reason for which it was recommended by Mr.Pandey : a very serious and senior man. It read like a poor copy of Chetan Bhagat; (Don't get me wrong here; i actually admire Chetan Bhagat) with the same language by the characters,  over-smart protagonists, the cuss words thrown around and all that. To add to the misery, it seemed like a puppy romantic story of college kids. By this time I was cursing Mr. Gyandutt Pandey.

But,How can Pandey Ji go wrong?

So, I plodded on for some more pages and after about half the mark, and  Ankita, the protagonist is diagonised of Bipolar disorder the book picked up the momentum-  like a terminally late running train deciding to make up for the lost time and running on full notch.

Thank God! and Thanks to Pandey Ji and of course,I forgot to mention, Thanks Madam Preeti Ji, you all saved my time and the Rs. 58 I had paid to buy it.

I had a vague idea that ‘Bipolar Disorder’ is a disease related to the mind. This book educated me in a very entertaining way, as must have done the thousands of other readers, about this affliction and dispelled the many misconceptions.

I Have seen some people, because they had some mental afflictions,  were declared mad and  relegated to the backyard of the society. The lucky ones among these victims were kept at home and their basic needs were taken care of; though when they became too violent when the disease was at the crest would be tied up to some posts or trees; while others who were not lucky enough to have someone to take their responsibility; were left to roam around and suffer the ignominy of the taunts of all, eat the left over food thrown in the garbage dumps and suffer endlessly. 

The common factor in both cases was, they used to suffer till their end without any hope of cure; their life an endless dark tunnel without the hope of a light at the end of it. No one around them even thought of the possibility that these mental problems can be treated just as a physical ailment by a Doctor. All of them, certainly, were not Bipolar patients; but the fact remains that, it was a form of disease, albeit a mental disease; and they could have been saved with awareness and information. The 'taboo' associated with such diseases was and still is the main obstacle in curing the patients and improving their lives.

As the Doctor, who treats Ankita in the book says; you go to a orthopedic when you break a bone; to a dentist when you have some problem with teeth; likewise when you have a problem with the mind you go to a psychiatrst. You can't just snap out of the disease, you need to be treated to get better.

It's commendable, that the writer- Preeti Shenoy- chose such a tough subject to write her second book. She has pulled it off nicely; although the beginning was unimpressive. Overall, a good book and good writing. 

And Preeti Ji, I am definitely reading your next book- The secret wish list.